Are You Judgemental?...YES

You are full of shit if you think that you aren't judgmental.

We all judge each other. You may be polite enough to keep it to yourself. You may be cowardly and only announce your judgments when you are among those that agree with you. Your judgments may not be negative. But you judge people every day.

You don't have a choice in the matter. It is human nature, a survival instinct, to look at another person, place, or situation and make some sort of initial judgment about it. Some of our judgments are based on stereotypes that we have heard or been taught (whether they are correct or not). Some are based on our own personal experiences. You may judge others on their hair style, skin color, clothing, the way they walk, their accent, their choice of words, or even their smell. People use other words to describe what they are doing, but it is still a judgment: assumption, opinion, assessment, being cautious, getting a vibe, comfortability, etc.

Let me give you a couple scenarios:

Scenario 1:
You are in your car alone and lost in a strange neighborhood or town. A person you don't know walks by smiling at you with a spring in their step as they pass your car. You automatically feel at ease and comfortable. You don't know this person at all, but you would be willing to get out of your car, tell them that you are lost, and ask for their advice on what to do next. You don't know if this person is the most congenial person on the planet, or just plain bat shit crazy with a smile narcotically plastered on their face, but you use the visual information available to you to make a judgment.

Scenario 2:
You are in your car alone and lost in a strange neighborhood or town. A person you don't know walks by with a scowl on their face, shuffling and dragging their feet while staring at you as they pass by. You automatically feel uncomfortable, and maybe even feel as if you are in danger. At this point, there probably isn't anything that would convince you to get out of your car and tell this person that you are lost and in need of help. As a matter of fact, you probably would push on the gas pedal a little more to get out of there faster. You don't know if this person just broke up with their significant other and is feeling down, or if he is looking to beat the crap out of the next person that talks to him, but you make a judgment based on what you see.

These scenarios don't even take into account other issues, like what they are wearing, their skin color, your skin color, the curb appeal of the buildings in the neighborhood, or even the time of day or night. We, as humans, use all of these things to make judgments, and the more we know, the more complete our opinion is. We do this everyday to everyone. Most of the time, we make the right decision, or humans wouldn't have made it this far. Usually, the most obvious explanation is the truth; therefore, we get out of our car and ask for help in scenario one, or drive faster to get away in scenario two. Even if you trust no one, and won't ask either to help you, you have still made a judgment based on the fact that they are strangers and you don't feel that you can trust them.

You may be asking, "What does my green hair color at a job interview have to do with survival, A.W.C.? What possible reason do they have for judging me?"

Survival is more than just making it through dangerous situations. It is also about community, and who you surround yourself with. In order for a community or organization to survive there must be some level of trust between the individuals within it. If you aren't comfortable with the people you surround yourself with, then your level of trust is affected, and the potential for the community to survive declines.

Simply put, if the interviewer isn't comfortable with your physical appearance, he/she is going to feel that they are not able to give you the same level of trust that they would give to someone they are comfortable with. If they are comfortable with your appearance, they have still made a judgment, but it is one that you agree with. Some physical appearances are protected by law and can not be used when determining eligibility for a job, but hair color, eye color, clothes, posture (except for medical reasons) are not protected.

When presenting yourself to someone else for consideration for inclusion in their community, whether it be for a job, volunteer organization, club, or a circle of friends, it is in your best interest to impress them. Sometimes that involves conformity, sometimes it involves standing out. What you want to be judged upon is what you are going to put out there for people to see. What they think of you when they first see you is a judgment. If they make the wrong assumption about you, then the best that you can hope for is that their judgment of you evolves as they learn more. Or you judge them and realize that you don't actually want to be in their community.

In the end, don't be surprised when people judge you; you do it to them. Our judgments aren't always right, and we can gather more information before reacting, but we are always judging one another, and our judgments sometimes evolve.

If you feel that someone's judgment of you was harsh or unjust, give them reasons to change their minds. If they won't, then they are either right or just assholes, but that's just my opinion.

;-)

-A.W.C.